...+*I Misses You*+...

When you are near, I purposely don't wanna talk to you...when you are far away from me, I miss you so much till I can't do my things well...

What the HECK is this all about?

I keep on wanted to post something up but after I wrote till half way...I will close this page and stop already...I can't write anything out from my head...why?

I dunno...I am kinda lost already...I have been worrying so many things in my life...and now because of this uncertain feelings I also need to worry...I really dunno when I can let go, stop thinking bout you and start my day...

I wonder what are you doing right now? I saw you in MSN but I don't really wanna bother you to talk to me...Yes I know you find me last night at 10 something but I was offline...but you didn't sms me or call me so I think it is nothing important or necessary...so it's ok so I also don't bother at all...I wonder what makes you doesn't wanna sms me already...I also can't make myself to sms you...

It's like...I am waiting for you to find me...but you will only find me in MSN...and sometimes don't at all...like what I know...your actions proof more than your words...Should I continue live on waiting for you just from your words or continue my new life after seeing your actions that is more true to yourself?

Do I really need a guy like you to make me suffer like this? Waiting for you without a good reason but just a word "I like you" from you? I'm doubting...I'm worrying...I'm lost...I'm confused...

I know my heart longs for you but my mind is asking me to forget...That proves that I am still sane...

I really need to get something to stop my heart from beating...if this beating still continues...I can die of pain and uncertain suffering...

You know what...I know it is hard for you to do so but I really do hope you can directly say something to hurt me 100% without backing off...I want you to say it directly to my face so I can really really forget you for real...

I can promise you as well I can live even better...I can be aware more and back to the way we should be...like the days we had like 3 stupid fella that stays up whole night till morning just talking and had fun...just like how we used to be...

I took things too seriously already...I really shouldn't...really...if you tell me now that actually you don't like me and just wanna be normal friends...its ok...I can take this...no matter what happen I still can stand on the ground with my bare foot...I can take everything was just a misunderstanding all this time and I took it too seriously while you were joking around... I really can pretend like this and everything had never happen...

Don't tell me you're uncertain...don't tell me you don't have the heart for this...don't tell me you wanna study first...these excuses can not undo the fact you said that words out...and this excuses also can not help you to avoid the problem that happen between us...what already happen is what already happen...it just depends on you and me whether we wanna undo everything or not only...I am willing to undo everything...letting go and forget is what I do...

And yet, we are still buddies like how we used to be...We will and we are...no matter what happens...I can't do much already but wishing you to have a better life there...wishing you to meet the right person...wishing you to have more friends to accompany you and talk to you...even my shadows are shallow but I still manage to leave a footprint in your heart...as a good friend and good buddy...

Thank you for stepping into my life...