It's been a month already since Angel left us... Within this month, lots of things happens...And yet, I still can't get her out of my head... I still misses her...
Last night when I look up my cellphone looking for someone to call to...then I saw your number, Angel...Then I started to feel heartache... I still can't delete your number, baby~
When I open up my facebook, your account Angeria is there...Your Darius account is there as well... Even in my MSN I saw your name and with your last word, "Cries it's alright...self consolation"...my heart aches again...up until now Angel... I still misses you...
I can't bring myself to delete everything about you in my Facebook, MSN nor in my cellphone...
Angel...you are a part of my puzzle in my life...without you my life puzzle wouldn't be completed...among all my friends I love you the most cause you are the cutest and the most naive one that I love to hang out with...
I still can't accept the fact you had left us... the other day when I talk to Veron, she mention about you and she's still sad...I even comfort her telling her to let go...but now I can't use back the same line to comfort myself...I really am the worse...Comforting others I can do but to myself...I dunno how...All I can do is cry silently...holding the breath deep within me...
I tried all my best to become like the usual me...all hyper and energetic and noisy to hang around with...but now I can't anymore...I am all quiet down...no more hyper and energetic or noisy...no more...
Still remember Ameba Pico we used to play in Facebook? Ever since the day you left, I can't bring myself to open this game already...up until now I still can't open it...
You know what Angel? The day we went to your funeral...Before I step in, my legs went all heavy and my heart is trembling with fear...For the 1st time in my life I actually experience a dear friend of mine has left me...with this fear I burst out in tears... That time I really don't care religion anymore...what I care is the respect that I should give you...So I went on and do what I think I should as a respect for my friend...
I saw your beautiful picture...hanging dazzling smiling to us...then when I walk to the back to see you for the last time...I really can't stand it and burst out with tears...I can't accept what had happen out of all of the sudden...seeing you lying there beautifully...really breaks my heart to pieces...
I remember I promised you when I am back to KK I will hang out with you again, yamcha and play around and shopping and everything...but now this promised I can never ever fulfill it with you...it has become a blank promises...
When I heard from your bro telling me how you left us...I can feel your pain, Angel...I can imagine how you slowly left us on that very Monday...such pain that I can't stop myself from feeling worse...
Such pain that I had ever 1stly experience...Angel...now all I can do is wish you to find real happiness in Heaven... Wait until then when it is my turn to go Heaven and we meet, I will tell you that you are still in my heart and my mind...and I love you so much that I can't bring forth myself to forget you...till then, you will and have to be the one to take care of me...
With Love and Care, Angel........
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